Advice. Everyone has got some, especially for ME. Everyone has advice about money, where I should live and work, my relationship and of course-Parenting.
“Unless he’s crying blood, there’s no need to rush and pick him up” was advice I received from a much
older, well meaning (I think) family member months after my son was born.
“Have you considered spanking? It seems like he’s one of those boys that’s going to need it” said another well meaning family member on multiple occasions that later went on to say “Nooooooo!!!!!!!” when I lied and said I began spanking because she told me I should.
“Why are you breastfeeding? Who told you that was a good idea? I didn't breastfeed you and you
turned out OK”, said my (you guessed it) mother.
“I didn't breastfeed your mother either” said my equally confused Grandmother.
“Don’t put him into daycare until he can talk” but “It's not our responsibility to watch him”
So let me get this straight. I shouldn't work until he's two, I shouldn't pick my baby up until he’s crying blood otherwise he’s just looking for attention (those babies can be so self centered everything is ME ME ME!). I maybe should spank my son, depending on how annoyed the rest of the family is that day. And breastfeeding? Why would anyone want to do that?
There are books that tell you to put your kids in time out and there are others that tell you not to. There are studies that show daycare is bad for kids and studies that show being away from mom and dad all day doesn't affect children negatively. I don’t think there are perfect scenarios or right answers to everything and have honestly been overwhelmed by all of the “advice” that exists so naturally I said “Ohhhhh Boy!” when I saw this headline on the Huffington Post about a week ago:
I told myself not to click on the link because reading about another parenting trend is only going to frustrate me and make me feel like I'm once again doing the wrong thing.. But between my boredom at work and desire to be the best parent ever I decided to look.
The CTFD Method, otherwise known as the Calm The Fuck Down Method means to do just that: calm the
fuck down. The
scientist Dad that came up with this method is basically saying in much simpler, funnier terms what I have been trying to tell myself all along: Stop comparing yourself to others, stop stressing over things you can’t control and just LOVE your child. Form meaningful connections, play, read, care for and enjoy your children. Stop trying to adapt to every piece of advice you receive whether it is professional or not because there is no ONE way that exists to be a great parent.
Great advice, right?